How To Be A Trans Ally: A Beginner’s Guide

With so many terms about gender variance and labels within the transgender community, the process of learning how to be an ally can bring up a lot of stress for people. I’ve been there! There are plenty of lists that can be found stating a set of requirements and beliefs for someone to be a trans ally. However, there’s no need to become an advanced ally overnight. It’s not possible either. Trans allyship is a journey and looks different for everyone.

First Place To Start As A Trans Ally in Miami, FL

Straight for Equality, created a list of qualities that people have regardless of where they are on their ally journey:

• Allies want to learn. Trans allies don’t always know all there is to be known about people who are LGBTQ+ and the issues they face. However, they do want to learn more.

• Allies address their barriers. Trans allies may encounter some barriers in being openly and actively supportive of LGBTQ+ people. And, they are willing to accept the challenges.

• Allies know that support comes in many forms. The support of trans allies can be expressed through the language we use, conversations we choose to have, and signals that we send. Attending a Pride celebration covered in glitter or wearing a shirt that says “Proud Ally” is another way of expression. Most importantly, allies know that all the ways allyship is expressed is important, helpful, and equally valued.

• Allies are diverse. Allies understand that there is no one-way to be an ally.

There’s No Test You Can Take To Become A Trans Ally

The trans ally journey is an ongoing, educative experience. There will be barriers. And, mistakes will be made. It’s part of being human. Personally, I’ve encountered some challenges throughout my trans ally journey. It does not mean anyone is a bad person or a bad ally. It’s actually a sign that you’re doing something to try to start the conversation.

So, how does one actually become a trans ally? 

There are different ways you can become a trans ally. Here are some positive ways to be a trans ally, according to Straight for Equality:

Listen 

Allies listen to the individual perspectives and stories of people who are trans to better understand their experiences. Even though the acronym LGBTQ+ gets used often, there are differences in the meaning of lesbian, gay, queer/questioning and transgender. Transgender refers to gender identity and expression. The LGB part refers to sexual orientation.

Accept

This part requires educating your self. Gender is a complex thing. Invest time into moving away from the gender binary (the idea that people are one or the other). Move toward the idea that the gender assigned at birth is not necessarily the gender a person will identify with. People have the right to define their own gender. You can show acceptance as a trans ally by not interrogating someone about their gender identity or gender expression. Instead, challenge yourself to understand that gender is a construct. And, not a “one size fits all.”

Respect

Trans allies respect and accept how people identify their own gender. And, the pronouns and names they choose. Respecting the fact that there are many ways to express who we are helps make a good trans ally. Respect also means not “outing” a person’s gender identity. Outing someone can be life threatening. Unfortunately, people may lose their jobs or family based on discrimination. 

Challenge

As a trans ally, you likely have some level of privelege. So, use it! Have personal conversations with people that use anti-trans remarks, comments, and jokes. As a trans ally, challenge yourself to intervene. Kindly let people know that what they said or did is hurtful to transgender individuals. Some people may not listen when you bring up these concerns. However, do know that speaking up is a trans ally move that can help positively transform a community over time. Despite how “small” it seems, change starts with interactions like this.

A message from a trans ally in Miami, FL

Be patient with yourself as you learn what it means for you to be a trans ally. Learn as much as you can. And, always listen to the voices of transgender and nonbinary people. Trans allyship is a journey, not an end point. Becoming accepting takes a lot of inward thinking about the ways we see our own gender, other people’s gender, and what it means for all of us living in this world together. You won’t become an expert overnight. But, you can make intentional and continuous steps towards trans allyship in Miami, FL.

Begin Gender Therapy in Miami, FL (or other services!)

Thanks for taking the time to learn about trans allyship in Miami, FL! If you’re struggling with how to support your trans loved ones, I offer quality therapy. I’m a trained and experienced counselor, I can help through online therapy in Florida. I also help my clients from my Miami based counseling clinic. However, I’m primarily seeing people through online therapy in Florida. As a gender therapist in Miami, FL, providing gender therapy is my specialty. I offer anxiety therapy, depression counseling, counseling for parents, teen counseling, HRT letters, and relationship counseling for one. When you’re ready to begin working with Better Life Therapy, follow these steps:

1. Contact Better Life Therapy and let us know how we can help.

2. Meet with your new gender therapist and ally.

3. See how my services can help you build a Better Life.

About the author, Roxana Tefel, LMHC

I specialize in helping transgender and nonbinary teens and adults build a thriving life. As a therapist in Miami, FL, I believe that people have the ability to overcome challenges. I know that providing space for people to embrace the challenges that are a part of being human helps build the foundation for healing and growth. Facing challenges head-on rather than avoiding life is a part of the healing process.